The Moon - the 51st State

There is simply no doubt about it anymore. We own the moon. If there's anyone else out there who would like to disagree, would you answer these questions? Who have been the only people to land on the moon ever since the first footprint on the surface about 50 years ago? Who's flag is proudly perched on it? That's right, the Americans. And it is by our grace that we do not blow up the moon so that we may share it's nocturnal light to the whole world. And we don't even charge for it! You are most welcome, world.



Now that I have established the undeniable fact that we own the moon let me throw out some very needed suggestions. This moon is no different than any other land we own, right? (Other than the fact there's no life on it, of course.) So we should treat this moon like it is our own land, and that way if anyone lands on it, we will have a fantastic tourist program set up. Imagine it! Dune buggy rides for $15, a zipline from the top of a crater to the bottom, almost 0 gravity football tournaments, it would be a regular theme park! In fact, we really could. Set up roller coasters, haunted mansions, just think about how fun they would be in low gravity! Zounds!


Obviously owning the moon would be the envy of the nations. Within a decade I can forsee the alligence of the European and Asian nations and they are ATTACKING THE MOON! What are we to do! No need to fear friends. I am one step ahead of you morons as usual. Set up a missle defence system! Fortunently shooting accurate missiles in space from a space craft proves to be really difficult according to the latest soap operas, but from the moon the task shouldn't be so difficult. Here comes the Asians! Blow them into space smithereins! The Russians? Bomb them! People from Texas? Easy pickings. Why would we give up the moon? We fight as hard as we can to keep our silly states.

I feel so passionate about this contest I think I might run for Presdient 2012. I am still debating whether I will or not, considering I will only be probably 23 years old. But consider this: "Earth going to waste! Let's invest in the moon!" "Move to the moon!" "Just because we started this nuclear war doesn't mean we can't run from it!" A campaign of genius. Mind you it's still in the meditation stages. I may not actually do it, but then again I just might! But don't hold your breath.