A Threat to Mankind: Water Parks

We all have had some time spent at water parks. Aren't they fun? Guess again! Satan's playground is more like it. Where else do parents lose their common sense and allow their kids to go in mysterious dark tunnels that will spew you into a large body of frigid, terrible water? Where else do they allow their children to run on slick surfaces propped up 50 feet in the air? Nowhere! Now why do they look so fun? Same reason why all of Las Vegas is pretty much a neon sign that reads "Sinners, gamble your life here!" Evil is always deceptive, friends, evil wouldn't sell if it looked terrible.

Not convinced? Educate yourself. http://www.injuryboard.com/national-news/family-of-teen.aspx?googleid=26998. For those of you who are a little short on time let me just sum up this news story for you. There was a 14-year-old boy who was swallowed up in the depths of the wave pool. Thoughtlessly as he was just enjoying a school trip's swim, he foolishly plunged his body and his life in the watery grasp of death! Learn from this, please, don't make the same mistake as this poor child did. Beware, paying that $17.50 for admission is paying a $17.50 for a key to the grave.

That's not the worst part even. Waterslides are even more diabolical than those wave pools. I am sure you are aware that people have died all the times riding these bohemioths of doom. Here is yet another article.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/07/05/AR2005070501613.html. For those of you who do not have the time yet again to read this article, I will summaraize it again. The Shark Attack slide (properly named) KILLED a young woman as she was sliding down. She sure was having fun on the ride but the next thing officials knew was that there was a dead corpse floating in the 3-foot pool at the end. I am telling you, keep your children out of these mysterious tunnels! Evil spirits possess them. Fatality will ensure.

Where is the mother of all of these terrible waterslide parks? Well, take a wild guess. As you might have guessed, Tokyo. The same place that caused Godzilla to haunt the globe and anime to ruin quality TV. This is the modern day Babylon. This place is called "The Water Dome." It has the capacity to hold 100's of thousands! The roof is retractable! There is a false mountain of hope structured in it! Death is practically spray-painted in blood everywhere in this building, yet sadly people blindly flock to it expecting a good time. My plea is for those Japanese people to shut down that building! Burn it! Quaranitne it! Anything to prevent it from killing again or spawning more evilality.

That's a wrap for today: water parks are evil. Below is a picture of Satan himself.