Friday, September 30, 2011

Possible Theories behind UFOs

UFO :)It's harvest time, baby.  You're more than ecstatic to be alive in the 21st century as a farmer.  You walk through the grassy fields.  You feel the dust and corn scent stickle your glorious nostrils.  Breathe it in!  Become one with the land, farmer-friend, and get ready for a kick-a** harvest, foo!

But as you look off into the glowing sunrise, you notice a crazy sphere of
light dance across the sky, hover over you, then shoot off into the atmosphere at dizzying speeds.  What the!  You should consider yourself lucky, farmer-friend, for it is not an every day event to see such a thing!  Embrace it dude.

Now, this phenomenon is fairly rare, but it is not unheard of.  There are thousands of people who have had the 
wonderful opportunity to get in close contact with the 3rd kind.  But there are some scientists out there that sure love to ruin our fun.  They spit on us and tell us we don't know anything, and they do it in the name of science.
Before your deceptively friendly scientist neighbor starts listing all the ways that you could be wrong, educate yourself, friends!  Read this blog and you will know how to defend yourself against possible theories behind UFOs.

1) Manmade Object
Some scientists will say that it is a weather balloon, or some kind of strange airplane of sorts.  What nonsense!  Explain this: can they make crop circles?  Can they blink different colors?  How can a weather balloon burn down my farm?  Riddle me this, ill-bred scientist.

2) Natural Phenomenon
Some submit that it is "thunder" or "clouds."  First of all, convince me first that THESE things are real.  How do we not know the NASA isn't just putting up optical illusions of thunder and clouds for their own political purposes?  And even if they were real, do you think I'm an idiot and can't tell a cloud from a glowing circle that shoots off into space at near-light speed?  Seriously.

3) Government Projects
This one is a cheap shot.  Who knows what the government is up to!  This is a cheap card played by scientists when they feel like they are in risk of losing the debate.  All the same, when they lay out this card, remind them of Roswell and Area 49 - it looks like to me that aliens and the government are in cahoots with each other.  Why would they even be working together?  They will need a few minutes to mull over that one before they realize that you have cornered them in a logical checkmate!

4) Aliens are Real!
Let's be adults.  Just because you don't see something or understand it completely doesn't mean it's not real.  I'm tired of our scientific community playing empirical peek-a-boo to judge what's real and what's not.  For all we know, aliens are on our side.  Perhaps they are tourists, checking out the sweet things we have to offer, like Oprah or string cheese.  Think about it!

So next time the rest of the town laughs at you and points their fingers at you, you will have a few intellectual responses in your quiver at your service.

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