There is a fashion sensation that is sweeping the nation. It's a bigger illumination than a spotlight on a crustacean plantation. What's with the new fascination in the name of creation? Well, no more frustration, because SHAZAM world, here are Snuggies! Sweet tear drops of Moses! Now you can hold a cold one in your right hand, the remote in your left while not leaving the sweet sweet comfort of that beloved warm embrace of a blanket. This is what we all have been dreaming for. This is the pinnacle of civilization and all good that we have been working towards. Snuggies!They will make you instant hits at parties. They will find you a girlfriend. They vibrate when gold is nearby! These splendid clothing treats are heaven sent and can be found nearly in any nearby store. What luck! What good fortune!
So now you're back with that Snuggie in your arms that you just bought from the hardware store. What do you do now?
Party. This will be sure to earn you some easy popularity points, as well as attractive points with the ladies. Cook. Your cooking skills will be greatly enhanced due to the aerodynamic factor. I bet. Play basketball. Your basketball tourney rivals don't stand a chance tripping all over your Snuggie as you graciously slam dunk the ball for the 100th time. Assassinate people the government tells you to. You'll blend right in with those pillows and blankets on the couch while still being able to valiantly wield a pistol. You may also suffocate someone with your Snuggie as a secondary weapon. Sleep. You will have wild, vivid dreams! Perform surgeries. Out of sight, out of mind. Dump your girlfriend. The Snuggie contains a magical characteristic that deflects negativity and bad emotions (unless the wearer has already begun to be negative).
I'm sure once you try out your Snuggie in different places, you will find THOUSANDS of applications! Let me know how it goes!
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