Robots - Part One

Readers, I would like to introduce you to a blogging legend who in part inspired me to begin my beloved series of the Daily Chronicler.  This good sir's name is Mr. Van Akin, and I will draw from his resources from time to time.  And as a way to treat him and his allowance of me to use his materials, I would like to celebrate with a three-part series of robots: a heated topic and favorite theme for Mr. Van Akin.

I turn the writing over to him:

I know we've been down this road before, but Readers, if there is anything that we learn from Terminator 2 and 3 it is that Robots never give up, or in other words, They'll be back! (Pun is much funnier when read in the voice of Arnold Schwarzenagger.) They are simply not content to just sit back and accept defeat. They will even travel through time if needs be. I know as is custom with humans, the trend to become lax and forgetful is a dangerous and common flaw. Many of you don't take to heart the real danger of robots due to the comforts and luxuries you think they might one day provide... Fools Move! Even if your robot is finely pedicuring your lawn it will do you no good, because you're six feet under with a lawn mower blade in the back, compliments of your completely untrustworthy robot. What is really disturbing is that the dawning of the Age of the Robot is upon us. We know that the great robot uprising is still in the somewhat distant future, but nonetheless, we humans forge onward in the name of "technological innovation" laying the foundation for robots and their inevitable uprising. There have been some recent current events that need discussing, and I'm gonna lay down some cold hard facts.

In a recent MSNBC article, author Bob Sullivan, explains how our common PCs are being used against us in a wild virus spreading attack that subcutaneously automates our PCs to spread infection through the web. The following snippet summarizes, but you may click the link for the whole story.

The Web, some say, has been turned into an operating system for criminals. Computer viruses that hijack PCs and turn them into electronic robots, or “bots,” have become the killer app. The operation of networks of hijacked computers is so lucrative that hackers are actually fighting electronic wars over them..."

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2007/03/bots_story.html#posts


Unsettling, no? Our common computers that we rely on so much daily are the birth places of the uprising. However, in the following article published by the BBC, discussion points to the ethical dilemmas of a robot co-habitation with human beings. Apparently, South Koreans are claiming that every Korean household will have a robot by the year 2015, and by 2018, they will be routinely performing surgery. The UK is suggesting that within 50 years robots be afforded the same civil rights as humans. A five member team is currently formulating the "Robot Ethics Charter;" a road map outlining acceptable behavior between robots and humans to maintain ethical, social and economic problems. I know, this is absolutely ridiculous! Read on for yourself:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6425927.stm


Something else that needs to be shut down right now is a robot fighting competition called "BattleBots." This robotic ultimate fighting is the cock fighting of the 21st century. Rudimentary battle robots are constructed, thrown into a ring, and fought to the death! These competitions install fighting instincts and advanced battle tactics into robots CPUs. It's like we're training them to Kumate style to destroy us.

We all know Asimov's 3 Laws of Robotics:

- A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

- A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

- A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law

These are nice and dandy, but what about rogue scientists that decide to disregard these laws? Anarchy! I hope that you're all reading the assigned literature on "How to Survive a Robot Uprising." Namely the section that deals with hand-to-pincer combat. This book will save your life on day, but only if you've read it. People please, I implore, let's fight for humanity!