The Unsung Superheroes

Sometimes I wonder to myself as I pick up a comic book, "What in the world was this guy thinking?  I mean, I know that almost all of the super powers ever have already been used up for other superheroes, but this guy is just lame."  Don't you just feel like throwing your grandmother down a staircase when you read a comic book with a stale super hero?  Heaven knows I sure do!  There's nothing more I hate than being bored with the same laser-vision shooting, flying, bullet reflecting super hero!  We already have enough of those!

Here are some superheroes you probably have never heard of.  You should give these young crime fighters a try!

Matter-Eater Lad

This incredible superhero hails from the planet Bismoll (as we all know the popular medicine Pepto-Bismoll was named after) and can eat anything!  ANYthing!  How incredible!  How splendid!  Want to get rid of that WWII boat collection you have loafing around in the backyard, but don't want to be litterious?  Call this dynamic hero over!  Have an evil villain planting bombs in cakes at random?  Call him!  Tired of your kid kicking you in the shins every time you tell him to turn the TV off?  You get the message.

Arm Fall Off Boy

Ever wish you were more like Mr. Potato head?  Can't quite reach those keys you threw under the couch accidentally?  Wish you could pop off your arm and extend your reaching radius twofold?  This is the super hero for you.  This wonderful guy can do just that - pop off his miraculous arm and use it as a harsh weapon to punish vile criminals!


Generation Telsa

This Serbian superhero I guess has the ability to resurrect dead people.  Legend has it that he evaded his own death by somehow transferring into a different plane.  While he was over there, he brought back a couple of other people who died and brought them back with superpowers!  Keen!  Your grandma is going to be so much cooler the second time around.

The Color Kid

This obviously isn't him.  Sorry guys.

 

 

 

 

"#@&$!! Those drapes are the wrong color of taupe!  Now the whole color scheme of the kitchen is OFF!"  My purple-faced balding friend!  I bear good tidings!  There is a superhero whose superpower is to change colors.  That's right.  He was hit by a freak color beam from another dimension, and of course scientifically that means he can naturally change any color he wants at will!  Those drapes will not only be the right color, but be the talk of the town.

Remember kids, there are plenty of new and exciting heroes to meet!  Let them inspire you to find your own inner-unsung hero!