Saturday, March 12, 2011

Hot Vacation Spots: The Orient

china!!Having long dull days at the office?  Having problems enjoying family time?  Tired of looking over cliffs edges wondering what it would feel like to jump off?  Looks like you need a great vacation time!  Look no further than the Orient!  China, Japan, Taiwan, and Chinatown (for our thrifty spenders out there) are fantastic locations for all sorts of adventure - whether it be romance, murder mysteries, or dog fights!  They have it all!

Just feel that thick Oriental air glossing across your skin as you stroll down Beijing Square - and shazam!  Look to your left and watch two Ninjas get in a fist fight!  Look to your right and watch a panda tumble through a grassy patch!  Buy a hotdog!  Feed a kitten!  This is your town.

If you find yourself in Beijing, our Asian culture experts exhort you to visit a Sumo wrestling match.  If you haven't had a good, emotional cry in a longtime, this may just be the thing to see!  There's nothing more moving than watching these two beautiful, big men struggle to shove each other out of the circle in the great symbolism of the fight against good and evil.  Then it happens!  A rogue ninja leaps in the circle and slashes the fighters up into bite-sized pieces!  A dancing dragon flies through the air!  Asian fireworks!  What in the world is happening!

It's the orient baby, and you've just gotta go with the flow.

Next stop?  The market!  You've seen those movies - there's usually monkeys climbing around and mysterious looking men walking around selling strange fruits and things.  If you want a few awesome knick-knacks to send back to the family, grab some triangle hats for the wife!  Chinese stars for the kids!  Just be sure to dodge the eventual gun fight that will take place - after all, when's the last time you saw a market scene in a movie without it bursting into a glorious fist fight?

This is for you!  Pack your backs, and travel to the Orient!

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