Friday, November 19, 2010

Bob Barker: A Tribute

Bob Barker, a god amoungst mortals. Before you think you start to think you know what Bob Barker is all about, why not read his 100% accurate, perfectly legitamite stories life that I am about to dictate?

Let's begin at the beginning. Bob Barker was a strapling youth birthed in Darrington, Washington. He grew up on the Rosebud Indian Reservation with his parents Matilda and Byron. Needless to say, that is obviously where he picked up his rugged good looks and take-no-nonesense from anyone attitude. He was blessed with a bright mind and even a better body. He was able to leap buildings in a single bound, and calculate even the most complicated physic equations in just seconds. Yet, while Bob was growing on this reservation, destiny played a sour chord which sent Bob hurling into the dark abyss of mourning.

Byron, Barker's father fell a devastiting 50-foot drop on the job. Yes, he was indeed an electrician, while working busily on a telephone pole, he fell to his death. Bob Barker was devastated. What could he do?

Now is the part of speculation. Scholars are still debating of what exactly what Barker did next, but the most believable theory thus far is this: Matilda, Barker's mother, remarried and they moved to Springfield, Missouri. Barker, obviously scarred from his father's tragic, tragic death masked his emotion of self-hate and doubt behind a three-piece jazz band. They were called "The Scatters". While no emmy was awarded to this group, Barker did indeed win self-belief and the will to carry on.

While pondering in the backyard of his high school house, he found himself suddenly immersed in playing basketball. He could shoot like no one could believe, backwards, forwards, slam dunks, and all that jazz (no pun intended). He was a regular Wally Szczerbiak! Before he knew it, he was playing on a scholarship for the Drury College. What grace and beauty where his moves on the floor! Here are some specators comments on a few games he played,

"He wowed us with his gracious basketball skills!" - Steven Hawkings

"It was just like ballet" - Sean Connery

"I expect to see great things from Bob Barker" - Moses Malone

"He is a regular Wally Szczerbiak!" - Thomas Edison

Yes, his sports career was indeed going well for him. But it seems fate again has made an interesting turn in Barker's life. WWII started in the middle of his career. He was a navy airpilot. Although his flying skills were exceptional, he was not comisisoned during the war. Barker never actually saw wartime action. Disguisted, Barker returned again to where his schooling took place. He was out of shape, Basketball was no longer on the mind. So he hit the books, and graduated with a degree in Economics.

In search for his first job, Barker flew to Florida where he made a big name for himself around town. If you asked any elderly members of the Florida community about Barker, they would give him a compliment. He found is his passion there in that great Sunshine State of Florida, hosting audience-participation gameshows. While he was hosting "Truth or Consequences", people cheered!  Ladies screamed! Dogs barked! He was an instant hit with the people, he was revered easily as the greatest person ever in the State of that spanish given land, Florida.

Well the rest is history, folks. He signed onto the Price is Right on the great date of September 4th, 1972. We will always revere his 50 years of excellence, his life served out as a greatly valued member of the society of TV. We will miss you, Bob Barker, we will indeed miss you.

No comments:

Post a Comment