Friday, December 24, 2010

Bad Christmas Presents

Really mad at someone?  Want to ruin someone's Christmas?  Want your soon to be ex-girlfriend to be the butt of all the jokes for the next 6 months?  Picking that perfect gift isn't always easy.  Do you want something that disgusts?  Bores?  Embarrasses?  While I am a firm believer in matching the bad Christmas present with specific people to be the best way, there are a few options that can be resorted to while still maintaining that special air of enmity.


Now, you need to be careful with this gift, because there are a lot of people who would genuinely enjoy having one of these around.  Otherwise, this present is a sure snoozer!  You can be sure that this will be a slap in the face to your cousin in the marching band.  Or maybe give this to your Russian friend - they have no idea what to do with these things!  Watching the classic, "Oh crap, a dumb football" look wipe across the face of your victim is priceless!

Socks and Underwear

Oh the dreaded tubed socks and underwear.  There's almost nothing worse in the world than getting one of these!  This is a perfect assault on hygiene if your victim is a fairly unkempt person, or if they simply don't wear socks or underwear.  You know those kids - they live on the beaches, they skip school and things.  But if you want to make this one extra special, place this in a stocking showing your thoughtlessness of not even wanting to wrap it up in some old newspaper.

Key chain

So you're tired of your football fanatic brother breaking your trumpets after each high school football game.  You're sick of those jocks shoving you in lockers and knocking your homework out of your hands.  Well enough is enough!  Make sure they are with their girlfriend or someone they are trying desperately to impress.  "Who the ^#$&*!" echoes through the house, "I TOLD you not to tell anyone about my obsession for Minnie Mouse!"  Oh man.  You've got him backed in a corner!

1 comment:

  1. haaha oh my gosh this reminds me of A Christmas Story : "I think everyone should have a red rider bb gun. I do not think a football is a very good present."