Saturday, December 18, 2010

Mysteries of the Deep Sea! Would They Make Good Pets?

We all love pets, but isn't it funny how we expect animals to look all the same way?  You know, two eyes, 2-8 legs in even amounts, symmetrical and things?  Wait until you plunge down into the horrible, horrible depths of the deep blue!  Some of those animals down there are down right creep-o!  I have nightmares facing off against these things.  Today I wanted to break the traditional norm of the domesticated pet in looking for more animals man can possibly have looming around his house hold.  Going where no man has ever gone before - the Ocean Floor!

The Dastardly Giant Isopod!

This thing has evil written all over it.  Yuck!  It's a scavenger on the bottoms of the Atlantic Ocean no doubt feeding on the corpses of children.  It's structure is similar to our friendly little black "rolly-pollies" we used to torture as children, but this guy is about 25x their size.  Imagine this nasty beast nibbling on your earlobe as your get ready to leap out of bed and put some Folgers in your cup.  No sir!  I don't want this thing ANYwhere near the wife or kids!

Let's rate this animal.

Cuddly: No
Nice: Doesn't look like it
Special Abilities: Eats garbage and crap

Would this make a nice pet: HECK NO!

Robot Fish
What the heck is this thing doing!?  I coudn't find a "scientific name" for this fish, so if you could enlighten me, that would be fantastic.  I have some questions for the dudes who found this thing!  I mean, if this is a real robot in the sea, shouldn't we be pretty worried that there is an underwater uprising against mankind?  This name leaves a lot of open-ended questions.  But, looking from the pet-lovers aspect, he is kinda cute.  He IS see-through, and what more could you ask for?  That's right up there with a lot of transparent-opaque substances we all know and love: balloons, jewelry, crystals, and so on.  Throw this dude on the list too!

The main problem is the lack of scientific information - do we buy him people to eat or feed him salads?  Most importantly, is this thing really a robot or not!  Although this is a very tempting option for a pet, I'm going to have to give this dude the following rating:

Cuddly: Yes
Nice: Looks like it, unless he's a real robot bend on destroying humans
Special Abilities: Being transparent.  Other than that, we don't know.

Would this make a nice pet: Not for the time being.  Sorry, mankind.

Viper Fish

Not even going there.  One word describes this fish: NASTY AND DANGEROUS!  It looks like this thing hasn't bathed for weeks!  When picking a pet from the deep sea, be weary!  There are many of these dude's relatives loafing about.

Cuddly: NO
Nice: NO
Special abilities: Scaring small children

Would this make a nice pet: Heavens, no!

Dumbo Octopus

Now this thing is adorable!  Feel like taking this guy out to the zoo, or out to the latest rock concert?  You and I both, brother.  These inquisitive creatures can grow up to 6 feet long and can even be see-through!  And boy are they easy to please!  Throw in some worms or those nasty crustaceans you keep finding under your pillow and he'll nibble them up!  And an added bonus - looking for that perfect pet that will impress your girlfriend?  You just found him.

Cuddly: Heck yes!
Nice: Duh!
Special Abilities: He has Dumbo ears!  How rad is that!

Would this make a nice pet: YES

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