Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Magical Scented Candles - Who Are They?

I love them.  You love them.  We ALL love them - scented candles.  Who couldn't?  It will make the difference between a dull co-ed hanging out night to a saucy romantic evening.  But why stop there?  I mean, candles do definitely set the mood, but it appears that we only have certain "candle" occasions, such as the holidays, to freshen up the water closet, romantic dates and so on.  Here are some real, unique different candle scents available on the market.  And with these new scents come brand new ways to use them.

THE BACON CANDLE - Great for man parties.  There's simply no way anything could not get better by adding a little bacon to it.  Tacos, burgers, cakes, you name it!  Let's now add parties to the list, thank heavens.  We men know that we have just been WAITING for this candle to roll around.  There's nothing better than sport's chat with the light scent of meat dancing around the room.  Mm-mm!

THE CAMPFIRE CANDLE - For those who love the camping experience but not so much the outdoors aspect of it, this is a great way to enjoy those brisk fall nights with nature with the convenience of a TV but a few feet away!  It's easy: set up an artificial flame somewhere, put up some blankets and stick this candle in the corner of the room.  Off you go!  You're a regular Eagle Scout!

THE PIZZA CANDLE - You know those weekends.  You're playing video games while all of your friends and room mates are out with their girlfriends or wives or whatever.  You're alone.  You get the picture.  You wish that those cardboard cutouts would play Halo with you, but let's be serious - they don't really do a whole lot helping pretend you're hosting a party.  It's you and you alone.  Light up a Pizza Candle, and boy does it seem like a party every night!  Whether you are by yourself or if you're just too cheap to buy real pizza, you'll be the life of the party!  Give it a try!

THE SAWDUST CANDLE - Oh no!  You're manly neighbor Steve is coming over to the house to borrow a hammer!  He is going to be upset to see your garage in pristine, untouched condition.  No projects have been done by you lately!  Quick!  Run and grab the sawdust candle and throw some nails, hammers and oil on the garage floor!  Instant manhood is the name of this candle.

THE NEW CAR CANDLE - Have a blind friend?  Want to play a funny trick on him?  Invite him over to the house and sit him down and pretend you're driving in a new luxury car!  It will sure smell like it.  He will definitely be impressed!  At least until he finds out that you played a dirty trick on him, then he'll probably never come visit you again.

Dear readers, these are all indeed real candles.  Google them if you like, purchase them.  Find even stranger flavors and use them for even more novel situations!  Be sure to report to me and let me know how it goes!


  1. Mr. mackey, i get the feeling that you have used the pizza candle before, probably recently!

  2. You are correct, good sir.

    You're free to join the party whenever you like.