Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Surviving the Dentist's Office
600 hours - Time to Awake.
This is the dreaded day. Don't you worry - strap on your best jeans and bullet-proof vest (just in case). Items that would be preferable for you to grab: your pistol, some flares, a grappling hook, tweezers and dynamite. If you don't own any of the following items, get some. Be sure to bring anything else dangerous or spy-ish that you might own.
800 hours - The "Waiting Room"
That old receptionist smiles at you trying to lull you into a sense of false security. Don't buy it! Stare her down and maybe mutter some choice words as you back away, keeping your hand on your gun. She just may be packing heat herself. You never know with these dentist types.
830 hours - The Chair
Just like those good days in Nam, you can't let those Vietnamese strap you into anything! You can play by their rules, but the minute they force you to do something, you run out that door. Don't look back. In the event they do strap you down and lock the door, never break. You can't compromise your mission - operation don't let those funny shaped metal things scrape your teeth!
900 hours - The Big Man
Remember this very valuable rule: Every SINGLE time a dentist says, "Everything will be okay" or "You might feel a little bit of pain" you are in for some torture. Do everything you can to flee from the scene. Perhaps you can squirt that little water fountain in his face, or light some flares.
1030 hours - The Prison Release
Well, mission failed soldier. He strapped that laughing gas on you and they went to town. Boy are you going to be sore for the next couple of weeks!
But this never forget. You may have lost the battle, but you have not lost the war.